There’s a little saying in the production world where I used to work that if you were on the crew you would say to one another as a joke: “Hurry up and wait.”  I have no idea where this saying came from, perhaps it’s applicable to your job. 

The reason behind it is the rush of trying to get things done, only to have to wait for certain things to happen first.  When I worked as a production coordinator, you would hurry up and get everyone in place ready to shoot a scene, only to have to wait for someone else to make things happen.   Maybe the actor that was hired is still in wardrobe or makeup, maybe the lighting still isn’t quite right, maybe the teleprompter won’t start up (that last one is from personal experience).  Talk about a panic attack as everyone sits there and just waits and stares at you to solve the problem so they can get through the day.  Glad those days are behind me!

I thought of this saying today as I was frantically emailing and messaging various people online asking all kinds of questions about my figure competition goal.  I recently opened up and sent some pictures of myself to a very well known trainer who told me I was way too thin to even think about competing this year.  Granted she made it clear it was her own opinion and she is just looking at pictures of me but it threw me off a little bit. 

I did ask for her advice so I brought that on myself.  And I knew she would be honest.  After thinking about it for awhile I realized she’s only saying I need to train 3 months longer than I had originally planned.  No big deal right? 

See the problem with being surrounded by other trainers and being a trainer myself as well as having a fair amount of knowledge about nutrition, I am constantly researching what the best method is for training for this competition.  At the same time I’m getting all kinds of advice.  So with this advice and research, the self-doubt kicks in. 

All of a sudden I thought to myself “Maybe I’m doing too much cardio.  Maybe I should do what that woman is doing…maybe I should eat like that guy is telling people.  Shouldn’t I be seeing muscle gains by now?  How come I’m not losing the fat quicker?  How long is this going to take?!”

I worked my brain into a frenzy.  But worst of all, I didn’t trust my coach.  I hired this man for a reason and I realized I need to stick with the plan.  There is no rushing this process.  It’s going to take time.  A year?  Well, maybe.  But after I got some great advice from two competitors that I contacted, I understand that I can still do my show as intended in October this year as a “warm-up.”  Then, if I choose to, do another show as the “real deal” in the Spring of 2014.

I also took a step back this week to remind myself why I started this whole thing:  For myself; to change my body; to see how far I could take this body and my fitness level and to essentially show off all my hard work.  I’m not doing this for a trophy, for a prize, for anything more than to say “I did this.”  So back to the drawing board, although I never really left the board.  I just took a temporary leave to get my mind straight.

Now that it’s on straight, I can say this:

“It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you do not stop.”

I’m not stopping.  I will keep going.  I can do this.

-Michelle