In the words of Mother Angelica…

From the book “Mother Angelica’s Little Book of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality:”

Called by God

You are called by God at this time in history to be so holy that this whole world will be sanctified. And you’re going to do that only by being yourself and changing that self into Jesus – cooperating with the Spirit to be transformed into the object of your love.

 

That last part is my favorite – transformed into the object of your love. YES!!!

How often I pray to be transformed. How often all of us should be praying this same thing. Imagine the possibilities if we all aimed for this. To change ourselves into Jesus. I don’t know how often we think in those terms but after reading Mother’s words, I think it might be time we start.

 

 

 

Peak Week Jitters

This week began what’s called Peak Week for me, the week of the competition.

My plan from Coach Ben was not such a big difference when I first looked at it.  The one big thing was that I got to do cardio!  I even sent him a message saying how I was kind of excited at the thought of doing HIIT training the next morning in addition to my usual weight training.

Hey guess what I realized very quickly the next day???  I don’t miss cardio.

Considering that I had done my weight training and then an hour of cardio afterwards for a grand total of almost two hours at the gym, I was TOAST.  It was great to work up a huge sweat like that but I cannot believe people voluntarily go to the gym and workout for that long on a regular basis.  Hell, I can’t believe I used to RUN (okay JOG) for that long and even longer when I trained for my half and full marathons.  No Thanks!

I only have one more cardio session on Thursday morning and that will be it.

The other big change for me is staying at my low-carb amount for longer than I’m used to.  I used to switch off (kind of like carb cycling) with high carb and low carb days.  Well, today marks day number 4 of low carb.  Let me tell ya, I’m not used to this.  I was very foggy on Monday morning after my workout and I was kind of out of it again this morning with my client.  But, it went away after awhile and although I like telling people “Oh yeah, it’s my lack of carbs, that’s why I forgot (insert ditzy mistake here).”  It makes for a really good excuse but I can’t help but wonder that it’s just because I’m having more than my usual blonde moments. 🙂

Tomorrow I can only drink water…no more crystal light crap or my energy drinks (yes, I became addicted to some of them i’m ashamed to say).  But I can do this…I survived most of my adult life without them, I can certainly handle a few more days of not having them.

Then Friday…..The FUN begins.  I get to carbo load.  And omg I’m SOOOO looking forward to that.

Prepare for a slew of Instagram pics of all my carbo loaded meals.  Nom Nom Nom!!

Possibly one more update before the show.

In the meantime, here are some shots from the posing seminar I attended two weeks ago with some fantastic ladies who I may be competing with.

Top is a little low...oops.
Top is a little low…oops.

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I say “with” and not “against.”  I feel a sense of camaraderie with my fellow figure gals.  Especially the ones who are like me, having never done this before.  Cannot wait to hang backstage and get to know them better.

Off to bed…One more update coming your way Thursday…maybe a quick one on Friday.

-Michelle

 

 

 

Quick Update

I’m 14…er…13 days…well, actually, make that 12 days out if you don’t count today since it’s almost over…Yikes!!!

Things that are done:

  • Registered for the show
  • Posing seminar/dress rehearsal
  • Suit ordered and fits perfectly
  • Tanning booked
  • Photo shoot booked
  • Make up person booked
  • Tickets for family purchased

Things still to do:

  • Get the hair done/scheduled for the morning of the show
  • Get some cheap bling (I think I see a trip to Claire’s in my future)
  • Schedule mani/pedi

As for the diet, Coach Ben says I’m in the best position possible considering he’s adding food to my plan.  YAY for more carbs!

Here are some pics I took last night; I still have to work on the posing and I’m sure it will not be 100% by the time I hit the stage but I’m okay with that.

14 days out!
14 days out!

Now I must go to bed because I got up way early this morning and if I stay up any longer I will be tempted to raid the cupboards.  And I can only eat so much Jell-O (gelatin) in one sitting…I think my new record is 4 cups in one day.  Yeah I don’t think any human being should eat that much.  It’s just plain wrong. 🙂

Good night!  Next update from me will be just 6 days out.  Unbelievable!

More than Before

May 26th 2012
May 26th 2012

I’ve posted a “Before”  picture on here previously but this picture above is really one that needs to be discussed.

It’s been a little over a year since this picture was taken.  In case it’s not obvious, I was a bridesmaid in my best friends wedding.  (I cropped her out for her privacy, but trust me when I say she was the most gorgeous bride….like, ever).

It’s so strange to look at this picture, NOW.

I don’t recognize myself.

But I don’t get sad as I look at this picture.  There’s no shame.  There’s no embarrassment.  Life was actually pretty good.

It’s just strange because I don’t want to forget how I felt when this picture was taken.  I want to remember that I did not look BAD.  This might be my BEFORE, but it could easily become my AFTER when this competition is over.

I’ll be honest, I hope it’s not.  I love the way I look now, but I was content looking the way I look in that picture.  I was satisfied.  I ate what I wanted when I wanted.  There was freedom to do that back then.

I celebrated birthdays with cake and ice cream and maybe some drinks.  I ate burgers and fries once in awhile.  I had pizza, I loved string cheese like it was going out of style.

I ate Peanut butter and Jelly for weeks at a time when I was feeling lazy.  I had salads with dressing that wasn’t measured out.  I went to baseball games and had hot dogs.

I went to the movies and had popcorn with butter and Buncha Crunch, my most favorite theater snack.

Yeah, I had veggies but only occasionally.

Yeah, I drank water, but only when I worked out.

Yeah I worked out, but only cardio and just SOME weight training for fear of breaking my foot again.

I was coasting….maintaining….perfectly content to just keep living my life that way.

But there was an obvious downside to this freedom:

I had zero self control.  There was no need to analyze every single piece of food that entered my mouth.  Who was keeping track?  Certainly not I.

I didn’t have the willpower to NOT eat everything that was put in front of me.  Any why shouldn’t I? There were no pics to send to any coach.

I hardly cooked my own food.  There was no reason to fuel myself properly for the workouts I wasn’t doing.

I never got enough sleep.  There were no early morning lifting sessions to be rested for.

I wasn’t doing any heavy weight training.  There was no motivation to get in shape.

Was it damaging me?  Maybe not.  Was it healthy?  Eh, not really.  Am I better off now than I was BEFORE?  Absolutely.

Although this experience is far from over, the physical changes are already obvious and that’s all great.

It’s the mental and behavioral changes that should matter most.

Here’s to 11 and a half weeks until my AFTER.

-Michelle

Stranger in the Mirror

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Such a dramatic title for the blog post today but it’s something I’ve been meaning to write about for awhile.

A quick update before I get into the nitty gritty: I had my photo shoot this past weekend and the photos are here: Photo shoot pics

Just scroll to the bottom.

My photographer was Jason of J.Dell Photography so be sure to show him some love as well.  He was wonderful to work with and seeing as though this was my first time in front of the camera for something like this, I gotta say I felt completely at ease.

I’m also quite surprised by the number of compliments on my page and in person that I’ve been getting from the shoot.  People I don’t even know are giving such great positive feedback and that really does make this all seem worth it!

Which brings me to the subject at hand: Getting used to the new ME.

Let me preface this by saying I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m like this completely different person when I look in the mirror these days.  And I have 16 more weeks left before the competition so my “transformation” is not complete.

But even still, I’m down to 115lbs from 142lbs just 8 months ago.  That’s quite a bit of weight for someone, especially someone like me that never really worried about my weight too much most of my life.

So now there are some things I need to get used to.

It’s kind of alarming.  It’s almost disturbing in a way, to view your body day in and day out and each time you glance in the mirror you see something new.

The first time I noticed a significant change was back in January.  I was doing abs and  I remember putting my hands on my hips to rest them in between sets and I felt my actual hip bones.

Having never felt these before it was really strange to me.  Almost frightening.  Not “Wow I’m so skinny my bones are protruding” type of frightening, because that wasn’t (and is still NOT) the case.   No, it was just the position I was in and the unexpected feeling of “Wow, I had a layer of fat over that area before, I guess this is working!” type of feeling.

Almost disbelief.  Like I couldn’t believe it was ME.

It happened again as I was just reaching behind my back to scratch an itch and felt muscle where there was no muscle before.

And again when I went to put make-up on and felt my cheekbones.  I kept touching my face and staring in the mirror as if to say “Is this real life?”

It wasn’t always frightening or disturbing.  It was fun one day when I saw ABS.  I literally ran downstairs to show my Mom and my brother, “Look!! It’s an ab!  I have ab muscles!!”  Granted at the time it was just two little muscles popping out, but still.  I had NEVER seen abs before on me in my life.

Yes there are still parts of me that I wish were a little bigger or a little more defined or a little more this or that…But I think that’s why they call this a transformation:  It’s a process that takes time and little by little, it’s great to see the small yet amazing changes your body takes when you lose a large amount of body fat/weight.

And now that I’m putting on some muscle, it’s even better!  Still scary though.

A girl that I post to on a message board for Figure competitors had something interesting to say about one of my posts that I think is appropriate for this topic:

I had said “I just wish my Mom could see me now.  I like to think she’d be proud of me and really happy for me.”

The girl responding also lost her Mom and replied: I’m honestly not sure what my Mom would think of my lifting.  She’d probably be totally weirded out, ha!” 

As simple as that comment was, it made me think:  Are there people “weirded” out by how I look now?  Not that I care of course, but I find it interesting.  I mean, I was weirded out by how I looked.  Legit freaked out.  I’m getting USED to it now, but even looking at those pictures, I can’t believe that’s ME.  

It’s exciting, it’s thrilling, it’s motivating, but it’s still a little scary and alarming.  I’m sure I will get used to it but something to remember if you’re going for a certain look as I am for this competition: 

Be prepared for how your body responds.  Be prepared to ACCEPT your new body when it DOES respond.  And try not to freak out when you see your TRAPS in the mirror.

Yeah that’s right..I have traps now. 🙂

Thanks for reading tonight!  As always, feel free to comment!

Random Tweet of the Week from @MILLERNATION6  in response to one of my Photoshoot pics:I am a born again christian since jan of this yr and those pics show Gods beauty:)”

I don’t even know this person and it MADE MY NIGHT!