Tag: photography

Stranger in the Mirror

MPiccolo3 Comments

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Such a dramatic title for the blog post today but it’s something I’ve been meaning to write about for awhile.

A quick update before I get into the nitty gritty: I had my photo shoot this past weekend and the photos are here: Photo shoot pics

Just scroll to the bottom.

My photographer was Jason of J.Dell Photography so be sure to show him some love as well.  He was wonderful to work with and seeing as though this was my first time in front of the camera for something like this, I gotta say I felt completely at ease.

I’m also quite surprised by the number of compliments on my page and in person that I’ve been getting from the shoot.  People I don’t even know are giving such great positive feedback and that really does make this all seem worth it!

Which brings me to the subject at hand: Getting used to the new ME.

Let me preface this by saying I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m like this completely different person when I look in the mirror these days.  And I have 16 more weeks left before the competition so my “transformation” is not complete.

But even still, I’m down to 115lbs from 142lbs just 8 months ago.  That’s quite a bit of weight for someone, especially someone like me that never really worried about my weight too much most of my life.

So now there are some things I need to get used to.

It’s kind of alarming.  It’s almost disturbing in a way, to view your body day in and day out and each time you glance in the mirror you see something new.

The first time I noticed a significant change was back in January.  I was doing abs and  I remember putting my hands on my hips to rest them in between sets and I felt my actual hip bones.

Having never felt these before it was really strange to me.  Almost frightening.  Not “Wow I’m so skinny my bones are protruding” type of frightening, because that wasn’t (and is still NOT) the case.   No, it was just the position I was in and the unexpected feeling of “Wow, I had a layer of fat over that area before, I guess this is working!” type of feeling.

Almost disbelief.  Like I couldn’t believe it was ME.

It happened again as I was just reaching behind my back to scratch an itch and felt muscle where there was no muscle before.

And again when I went to put make-up on and felt my cheekbones.  I kept touching my face and staring in the mirror as if to say “Is this real life?”

It wasn’t always frightening or disturbing.  It was fun one day when I saw ABS.  I literally ran downstairs to show my Mom and my brother, “Look!! It’s an ab!  I have ab muscles!!”  Granted at the time it was just two little muscles popping out, but still.  I had NEVER seen abs before on me in my life.

Yes there are still parts of me that I wish were a little bigger or a little more defined or a little more this or that…But I think that’s why they call this a transformation:  It’s a process that takes time and little by little, it’s great to see the small yet amazing changes your body takes when you lose a large amount of body fat/weight.

And now that I’m putting on some muscle, it’s even better!  Still scary though.

A girl that I post to on a message board for Figure competitors had something interesting to say about one of my posts that I think is appropriate for this topic:

I had said “I just wish my Mom could see me now.  I like to think she’d be proud of me and really happy for me.”

The girl responding also lost her Mom and replied: I’m honestly not sure what my Mom would think of my lifting.  She’d probably be totally weirded out, ha!” 

As simple as that comment was, it made me think:  Are there people “weirded” out by how I look now?  Not that I care of course, but I find it interesting.  I mean, I was weirded out by how I looked.  Legit freaked out.  I’m getting USED to it now, but even looking at those pictures, I can’t believe that’s ME.  

It’s exciting, it’s thrilling, it’s motivating, but it’s still a little scary and alarming.  I’m sure I will get used to it but something to remember if you’re going for a certain look as I am for this competition: 

Be prepared for how your body responds.  Be prepared to ACCEPT your new body when it DOES respond.  And try not to freak out when you see your TRAPS in the mirror.

Yeah that’s right..I have traps now. 🙂

Thanks for reading tonight!  As always, feel free to comment!

Random Tweet of the Week from @MILLERNATION6  in response to one of my Photoshoot pics: “I am a born again christian since jan of this yr and those pics show Gods beauty:)”

I don’t even know this person and it MADE MY NIGHT!

Inspiring the Uninspired

MPiccoloLeave a comment

It’s been quite the rough road for me this past month.  But with all the stress, sadness, negativity, and de-motivation, came moments of hope, renewal, reflection and restarting. 

After lamenting and complaining and having a big pity party for myself, I emailed my coach to ask for some advice.  What I needed was a short-term goal to get me through these next 3 months before my prep begins in mid-July.  It’s been suggested to me to maybe do a photo shoot, just for fun.  I have heard many women do that if they don’t want to do a competition.  Unfortunately it’s just as costly to do a photo shoot as it is to do a competition so it’s not exactly a money-saver.  BUT, it follows the same premise as a competition:  Tanning, makeup, hair, prep, purchase of clothes to wear to the shoot and most importantly, the fee for the actual photographer/session.

So since $$$ is a factor and I still would like to do the comp in October, I have just refocused and took some advice from one of my three bosses (yes I have three jobs ha!) and decided each month or every 2 weeks or whatever, I will pick a certain part of my body to actually work on.  I’m still going to focus on all muscle groups for my workouts each week but spending a little more time on the problem area(s) will be the goal. 

Plus I’m going to take progress pics every weeks instead of every 3 weeks.  It’s just another way to stay motivated and accountable. 

I love this plan already (Thanks Mark for the idea!)

If I am focused on one thing, it’s so much easier to accomplish it, right?  The same rule applies to anything in life I suppose.  Multi-tasking is the enemy. 🙂

Short term goals are good, but I was still feeling de-motivated and lazy and even irritated that I decided to train for the show.  I kept using the excuse “It’s not until October, let me just eat this crap right now, who cares!” everytime I thought about cheating.  I was taking all my emotions and putting them towards food.  I found any junk food in the house/cupboards and proceeded to devour them like never before.  Almost as if I would never eat again.  Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your attitude towards carbs) the most unhealthiest food we have in our house is Ritz crackers and Jelly.   

That didn’t stop me from eating an entire SLEEVE of Ritz crackers and an entire JAR (okay it was the small ones but still) of jelly, by the way. Several nights in a row… The guilt was minimal (I had more of an “I could care less” attitude), but the feeling in my stomach afterwards told me that was a BIT too much sugar. 

So I needed some inspiration, some motivation, something a little more tangible than just some words on a Facebook page or a quote from a book.  I really needed to get back into the spirit of things.  

Ironically, the Spring version of the competition took place this past weekend.  And one of my friends’ daughters was competing in the bikini division.  I never met her, didn’t know her at all. But I was SO excited for her!  Here was a small connection that I could latch on to.  Although I really wanted to attend the show itself to cheer on this complete stranger, I couldn’t attend.  But, speaking to my friend afterwards was great because his daughter placed 7th in her first ever competition! Talk about motivating!!!  This chick is a MOTHER and looked amazing on stage.  I gave her dad my email address so I hope to have her discuss her experience on the blog soon.

A few days ago, the pictures from the competition came out online.  Here are the links:

The NPC Natural Ohio

RX Muscle Contest Gallery

Just looking at the pics of the Figure competitors was inspiring to me.   It shows how far I have to go, but it also shows me that it’s attainable.  Kind of like looking into a crystal ball…a picture of what “could be.” 

Lastly, being on Twitter does have it’s perks.  I was able to get in contact with a woman named Callista, who is ALSO training for the same fall competition!  She just started a blog Run Lift Like a LandShark as well as an FB Page.

I couldn’t help but notice our similarities (except for that whole kid/husband/attorney thing) so I’m really excited to follow along in her journey too. 

Just goes to show when you think you’re hitting rock bottom and you’re ready to give up, there are people and things all around you to get you back on track. 

So here’s to a week(end) to getting back to YOUR goals.  Whatever they may be!

-Michelle

Random Tweet of the Day courtesy of myself: “Umm I put make-up on for the @Indians game tonight in the #SocialSuite so it HAS to stop raining. I didn’t clog my pores for nothin!” –

The game got rained out by the way; so yes, I DID clog my pores for nothing but $25 wasted on parking and an hour of sitting in a suite watching the jumbotron air two random MLB games.  Not fun.