More than Before

May 26th 2012
May 26th 2012

I’ve posted a “Before”  picture on here previously but this picture above is really one that needs to be discussed.

It’s been a little over a year since this picture was taken.  In case it’s not obvious, I was a bridesmaid in my best friends wedding.  (I cropped her out for her privacy, but trust me when I say she was the most gorgeous bride….like, ever).

It’s so strange to look at this picture, NOW.

I don’t recognize myself.

But I don’t get sad as I look at this picture.  There’s no shame.  There’s no embarrassment.  Life was actually pretty good.

It’s just strange because I don’t want to forget how I felt when this picture was taken.  I want to remember that I did not look BAD.  This might be my BEFORE, but it could easily become my AFTER when this competition is over.

I’ll be honest, I hope it’s not.  I love the way I look now, but I was content looking the way I look in that picture.  I was satisfied.  I ate what I wanted when I wanted.  There was freedom to do that back then.

I celebrated birthdays with cake and ice cream and maybe some drinks.  I ate burgers and fries once in awhile.  I had pizza, I loved string cheese like it was going out of style.

I ate Peanut butter and Jelly for weeks at a time when I was feeling lazy.  I had salads with dressing that wasn’t measured out.  I went to baseball games and had hot dogs.

I went to the movies and had popcorn with butter and Buncha Crunch, my most favorite theater snack.

Yeah, I had veggies but only occasionally.

Yeah, I drank water, but only when I worked out.

Yeah I worked out, but only cardio and just SOME weight training for fear of breaking my foot again.

I was coasting….maintaining….perfectly content to just keep living my life that way.

But there was an obvious downside to this freedom:

I had zero self control.  There was no need to analyze every single piece of food that entered my mouth.  Who was keeping track?  Certainly not I.

I didn’t have the willpower to NOT eat everything that was put in front of me.  Any why shouldn’t I? There were no pics to send to any coach.

I hardly cooked my own food.  There was no reason to fuel myself properly for the workouts I wasn’t doing.

I never got enough sleep.  There were no early morning lifting sessions to be rested for.

I wasn’t doing any heavy weight training.  There was no motivation to get in shape.

Was it damaging me?  Maybe not.  Was it healthy?  Eh, not really.  Am I better off now than I was BEFORE?  Absolutely.

Although this experience is far from over, the physical changes are already obvious and that’s all great.

It’s the mental and behavioral changes that should matter most.

Here’s to 11 and a half weeks until my AFTER.

-Michelle

It never gets easier, but it does get better.

It Never Gets Easier

Truer words have never been spoken, especially when it comes to a large obstacle to overcome.

After being on a nutrition/cardio plan from my online coach for almost 3 months, I will say that it has most definitely not been easy.  But it most definitely has gotten better.  So today I celebrate the small victories:

  • I’m getting better at prepping my food; it’s actually a process I enjoy.  I guess I’m strange like that but I really like ORGANIZING everything, especially because most other things in my life are very DISorganized.
  • Getting better at posting and looking at the progress pics.  This was the hardest thing to get past.  At first I really did not like the idea of even having a blog let alone posting pics of myself in the state that I was in.  But after sucking it up, it doesn’t seem so bad.  And I wouldn’t say it’s better because I look better; it’s gotten better because I’m more comfortable with putting myself out there. Big difference.
  • Getting better at enjoying the process and not obsessing over “What time is it?? Is it time for me to eat?”  Case in point, I’m “overdue” to eat my next meal by 10 minutes.  And I’m sitting here typing all this out NOT worrying about it.
  • Getting better at managing my time.  When you are on a set schedule to eat and workout, you really find time management to be a key asset.  I’m probably better at planning out my day better than I have before.  And I refuse to let social media be the time waster that it can be.  I’ve definitely cut back on that, although if you follow me on twitter you know I still have some work to do in THAT area…. 🙂 But Facebook is getting easier and easier to avoid.
  • Getting better with patience with people who do not have the same fitness goals as myself.  Also getting better at becoming patient with people who have ZERO health and fitness goals.  This is a big one for me because I want to help everyone.  But I’m learning to accept that not everyone wants the help.  However, I will say the people who HAVE reached out to me for help are very grateful for the advice and do see me as doing something positive and inspiring.  So if I’m able to help at least ONE person, then it’s worth it.

 

On a side note:  Happy Valentines Day!  Echoing the words of some other bloggers, I will say I LOVE ALL MY FOLLOWERS! 🙂  Thanks for “Liking” “Retweeting” and “Following” my little journey, your support is appreciated and LOVED in return!

 

-Michelle