The Gift of: Wasted Time

monstrance1For the past 7 months I’ve been kind of sneaking around.

I’ve been lying to my friends on Saturday nights. They wouldn’t have noticed if you asked them because I normally don’t stay out past midnight on Saturdays, if I am out. (I’m old I know).

But if there’s an event or a get-together on a Saturday evening, I’m usually the first to head home as soon as the clock strikes midnight.

No one ever really questioned me or harassed me why I would leave “so early.”  But I never did speak up and say why, although I really wanted to. But there’s that little voice that would say: “Don’t bother. They won’t get it.”

But, I think my friends can handle it:

I get up at 3:45am on Sundays. Why? Because I signed up 7 months ago to be an Adorer at my local parish from 4am to 5am. An adorer is a person who volunteers to sit with the Blessed Sacrament (AKA, Jesus) so He is never alone.

Pretty comical to me that I actually chose 4am on a Sunday to do this. But I gotta say it’s kinda cool to have Jesus all to myself. Not that it’s supposed to be that way, but let’s face it, 4-5am on a Sunday is a bizarre time to be out and about.

Several parishes in the area have a 24 hour adoration chapel actually. (I’ve been to almost all of them, because I’m crazy like that) and all of them have the same request in the bulletin – Adorers are Needed!

So allow me to sell you on this:

You have this great opportunity to sit in a quiet space in front of Jesus for just an hour and pray or listen (preferably both). I normally say a Rosary, journal, or read some sort of spiritual book. Most chapels have a little “library” to borrow from if you don’t have anything to read. And trust me when I say they will have a rosary (or 20) to borrow as well.

In the past I’ve also brought my (gasp!) phone with me to read emails of prayer requests. I usually look at the person’s name and substitute their name for “us sinners” in the Hail Mary as I pray the Rosary. I’ve listened to homilies online, I’ve read prayers from my favorite saints. But much of the time, especially if it’s the 4am time slot, I’ll sit in silence. And because it’s 4am, it’s quiet outside too. So it’s probably the quietest time I’ll ever have. By the way, if you live in a loud household with pets and kids, you will LOVE the quiet and stillness of a chapel, I don’t care who you are. It’s a terrific break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life..

Another good suggestion, especially for visual folks –  Take the photo collage of the seminarians (I assume all dioceses print these out, right?) and look and read each name of the young man and say a prayer for him. It’s gotta be rough being in the seminary, wouldn’t you think?  All I know is they could definitely use some prayers. And since there are so many of them, this usually takes up a good chunk of the hour.

As someone who has spent probably more hours in front of the Blessed Sacrament than actual working hours or hours at the gym this past year, I can tell you there are some incredible things that happen to you as you sit in silence and meditate.

I’ve had emotional highs and the lowest of lows sitting there. I’ve laughed and smiled, and  I’ve cried my eyes out. And sometimes, yes, I feel nothing. (But only later to discover that my prayers were indeed answered).

I’ve had funny experiences and downright bizarre experiences. Especially at 4am.

Being a frequent adorer at various churches in the area, I can tell you which parish has the creakiest sounding roof and the church with the comfiest seats. I now know which chapel to avoid on a Sunday afternoon when the ice cream truck goes by outside while you’re trying to remember the words to the Apostle’s Creed but that darn jingle is echoing through the walls. I can tell you someone will most likely distract you with their snoring (it’s EASY to fall asleep) and their growling stomach (Fasting and prayer go together like PB and J).  I can tell you you’ll more than likely run into people who don’t abide by the “quiet” rule and proceed to pray in a loud whisper, making it really uncomfortable to hear their prayer requests. (Bring headphones!)

But the little distractions that can occur during your holy hour are actually helpful in that they force you to really call out His name to focus your attention back to prayer. And really, that’s the whole point. I read once from a Saint (can’t remember which) that even if you just sat in the chapel calling the name of Jesus for the whole hour, that would be sufficient and a completely suitable prayer! So what we might consider a “waste of time,” would actually be considered a very worthwhile prayer.

I suppose this is my plea for you to check out your neighborhood church my Catholic friends. Adoration is the best thing ever! Even if you don’t belong to the parish you can still volunteer to adore Him. I would suggest that even if you know you can only take that hour for a month and then you’ll be on vacation or whatnot, just sign up! The people in charge will be so grateful.

And Jesus will be thrilled to see you too!

 

 

The Power of Prayer

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“Do you realize that Jesus is there in the tabernacle expressly for you – for you alone? He burns with the desire to come into your heart.”

— St. Therese of Lisieux

Since my life-changing experience at the TOB retreat in PA in June of this year, I’ve been attending Adoration several times a week in addition to daily mass.

And something awesome has been happening.

My prayers are being answered.

This shouldn’t surprise me. This shouldn’t surprise anyone who has faith.

But without fail, every single time I read something that strikes a chord in me…

…or I come across a scripture passage that speaks to me

…or encounter someone who says exactly what I need to hear at that moment

…or I see someone so strong in their faith…

I am left in awe at the power of my small prayer.

I literally sit there in front of the Blessed Sacrament beaming, grinning from ear to ear.

If I’m at home or at daily mass, I catch myself smiling when I think about how every time I may have a moment of doubt, I am ALWAYS proven wrong. It’s almost like God is saying, “Why do you doubt me? You know I got your back.”

These are no huge miracles.  These things are really nothing to make a big deal about. But to me, they HELP reinforce my faith that all this praying isn’t all for nothing. It really is tangible. It’s real. He’s real.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34

Just two days ago, I received a letter in the mail saying my Medicaid had been terminated because I hadn’t sent in the correct information. Just reading the word “Terminated” was enough to throw me off my game and send me into a panic. I’m on a very expensive medication that I receive every 8 weeks thru an IV. So of course, after reading this letter, I immediately panicked and worried and prayed for a solution. That night, I got a call from a friend asking if I wanted some part-time work to help my financial situation. (He had no idea about the letter obviously, he just knows I’m always looking for extra funds to help pay down my debt.)

I had to smile…I think I even laughed as I listened to his voicemail.

“God’s got my back.”

I called the case worker the next morning to ask why it was terminated when in fact I DID send in the information that was requested.

Without even waiting more than half a minute, she said, “Oh you were approved 10 days ago. Disregard that letter. It was sent by mistake.”

After an entire day and night of panicked prayer, it turned out I worried for nothing.

Once again, I had to smile and laugh.

God has my back. All the time.

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18

Prayer isn’t magic. And contrary to what I believed for a very long time, it’s not something that you do only when you need something. It’s something, I think, that you need to keep up with.

Some nights I don’t feel like going to Adoration. Some days, I’m just not in the mood to go to mass. Sometimes, I’m really tired and all I want to do is sleep instead of doing an Examen of Conscience.

But, without fail, every time, even if it’s just a short prayer to God asking for strength, I always feel immediately better. (The website I link lists 10 super short prayers. Even gives the estimated time it takes to say them; some of them under a second!)

I swear by it.  I live by it. And now I’m writing about it: This prayer thing?

Yeah…it’s the real deal. 🙂